Photo: Unsplash | Nick Fewings
A new book, “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies,” argues that apologies often come off as insincere because they’re viewed as admissions of guilt or weakness.
Authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy write in the book, “An apology doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong enough to take responsibility for your actions and to try to make things right.”
The book details six steps to a good apology:
- Saying, “I’m sorry” (i.e., not “I regret”);
- Saying what you’re apologizing for;
- Showing you understand why [your behavior] was bad;
- Not making excuses;
- Promising not to do it again;
- Make reparations (if relevant).
Studies show many ways apologies can backfire.
Research led by Cleveland’s Case Western Reserve University found that continuing to apologize after the first seven seconds of a customer-resolution conversation will most likely backfire because the customer wants to hear how their problem is being solved.
“Employees should focus on energetically and creatively exploring a range of potential solutions to the problem. This brainstorming phase, more than anything else, is what customers will use to assess the encounter — and the more ingenuity an employee shows, the better,” the study’s authors told the Harvard Business Review.
A broader trend toward over-apologizing, seen as a knee-jerk reaction for many individuals, risks weakening the impact of genuine apologies. A Wall Street Journal article last year stated, “The apology is running amok in conversations and communications. We drop it indiscriminately, crying mea culpa for all manner of things we really shouldn’t be sorry for – and diluting the apologies that truly matter.”
A study led by researchers at New Mexico State University further found that although it depends on the situation, showing appreciation instead of apologizing – i.e., saying “Thank you for your patience” instead of “Sorry for making you wait” – works better in restoring a wronged customer’s satisfaction.
The study states, “The shift of focus in the service provider–consumer interaction, from emphasizing service providers’ fault and accountability (apology) to spotlighting consumers’ merits and contributions (appreciation), can increase consumers’ self-esteem and, in turn, post-recovery satisfaction.”
BrainTrust
John Lietsch
Chief Operating Officer, Bloo Kanoo
Michael La Kier
Vice President, Brand Development – IGA, Inc.
Loading …
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.